210: Let's go to Wok

Let’s go to Wok…insultingly racist or awesome? You decide! So yeah we are onto part two Gordon Rennies three part “backdoor pilot in disguise” Judge Dredd stories with personally what I thought turned out to be the weakest of the three characters.

Judge Dredd heads to Hong Tong to try to stop a perp running racket and is forced to join forces with peoples justice ministry inspector Liu Chan Yeun better known as Johnny Woo

I do love Johnny’s description of Dredd however as a notorious war criminal and capitalist oppressor assassin. The white ghost called Dredd I got a chuckle out of that due to it being so darn accurate it hurts…

Judge Death Bullshit alert: The guy who famous puts his hand into peoples chest and squeezes their hearts uses a sawn off shotgun…yeah…

1358: adventures in shameless advertising (and the crap covers they spawn)

Just look at that cover….just let it sink in for a moment. This was during the time the rather lackluster Dredd vs. death was coming out and just like many tie ins its rather awful…to show you the full awfulness (and to pad out a short entry heres some other awful tie ins from 2000ads marketing department.

 (In case you thought even the mighty bolland cannot fail heres proof where you are so wrong!)

                       (You just cannot tell they drew the figures as reference in the past two can you?)

                                                    (No not you too Kev....)

Well enough of that nonsense...Anyway lets ignore those covers now and actively despise tharg for such shameless promotion and look at the judge Dredd episode this prog and just marvel at the insanity within and how ironic it is that I cover it...

This…is a Judge Dredd/Nikolai Dante crossover with a heavy referencing to the apocalypse war and the former Sov bloc as a whole. Drawn by Simon Fraser…

I am not even kidding about that…

I…think my brain has just exploded with awesome

Check out the full story of this bizarre episode in Too cool to kill part 15

1356: Last Rites

Grant Goggans fave prog!

I kid Grant, seriously though this is something I have been dredding to cover. Not quite Repo-mex bad but god…repo mex wasn’t written by John Wagner.

Let’s start with the awful cover. I gave Charlie Adlard stick recently during my ongoing look back at Nikolai Dante on the everything comes back to 2000ad blog. But he is a good artist. I like the walking dead and some of his other 2000ad work (barring some awful early Meg stuff) is wonderful. But look at that cover…

He does the inside art which is nice but John Wagners plot for this story hurts it. Dredd is trying to save his niece Vienna from some devil worshippers but is tricked when Vienna reveals she has been brainwashed to be one of them. Now as the cover shows Dredd is tied to a rock and is being prepared to be sacrificed.

Head baddie is possessed by a demon and I am not sure if it’s me but I really…don’t like supernatural stuff in the Dredd strip. It just feels off, I wonder if that’s why I don’t like Anderson…

Anyway head demon raises his knife ready to stab and God strikes him down!

I am not kidding god friggin fries him with lightning and Dredd quips that someone up there likes me! He takes down the rest of the cult and ends the story wangsting about Vienna…

I hate doing this blog sometimes…I hope next issue has something decent…

Next: falling from grace….shit

1350: Resolving That Cliffhanger!

It’s a relaunch prog again and three double sized stories start off in this prog. The Dredd story and strontium dog will be covered in future installments but today we are looking at the return of Slaine!

Previously on Slaine the evil demon moloch was given clemency by the council and then proceeds to backstab them by raping and killing Slaines wife Niamph. Slaine is understandably pissed and decides to dump the comedy sidekick ukko and go after the evil bastard on his own. They fight and the two end up spiraling off a cliff to a certain fiery doom…

So how does Slaine get out of this cliffhanger….he sticks his axe into the cliff the kicks the hell out of Moloch and feeds him to an elder god…

But not before getting plot from the demon and then he heads off into his new quest to stop a second invasion of the fomorians.

Proper Pat Mills mentalness in this story and while the out of the cliffhanger is a bit…lame the story itself is great and I look forward to experiencing this story again.

207: Femme Fatale

What a lovely pulpy cover for this issue heralding a new story from the wonderful John Wagner in which justice department orders a full shakedown on an entire block. A crime ridden hellhole. The story focuses on various inhabitants of the block trying their hardest to remove incriminating evidence before the judges barge in.

Oh and the angel of death is stalking the same block. Oola blint is a recurring villian who is a nice person who genuinely believes that killing people is a good thing. Allowing them to pass on away from the madness of the mega city. The episode in this issue actually ends with Dredd ending up inside the same elevator as her and her long suffering husband Homer…

Also Ending this issue however is Family a superhero story with no real heroes. Instead its more like the godfather except the two families have powers. It is a fine story when read all in one. However two major issues let this tale down in its original printed run.

The first is the tale is badly wounded due to the monthly run of the meg. If this story ran in the prog it would be much easier to follow weekly instead of monthly. The other problem is Simon Frasers art. No I am not going to rag on him again. I feel bad enough as it is with my first Too cool to kill entry which ragged on him.

No it’s the mash of no colour plus characters wearing similar suits and hats fighting each other is the problem of this story. If this was in colour and in a weekly comic this would be an instant classic. As it is now its just good and that’s a shame…

1342: Rock Lobster

Two series focusing on villains this time round and lets start off with the return of Armon Gill the human cockroach himself or as he referred to himself as The chief judges man. Armon committed sanctioned murders on behalf of Chief Judge Hershey…or so he believed. In truth he was unknowingly working for Judge Declerk who had ran a scan like this several times.

He is currently being held in a correction facility in the cursed earth under the gaze of former psu head Judge Edgar…who has issues herself with judge Dredd.

Believed abandoned by Hershey Gill makes a break for it and aims his sights on the chief judge herself…

Meanwhile meet lobster Random. A torturer for hire who has a fetish for robots and lobster claws surgically stitched to his body. As our story begins he has been captured and is being prepared to be boiled…

Luckily he is saved by a group who wish for his help in torturing someone for a big score. Words cannot express how bonkers this series is and how much I love it…

ALOHA!

206: They don't like it up'em!

Monkey on my back ends with Cannon fodder judge chambers dying to stop the mutant. Fifty seven judges died during the mutant incident and ceremonies were held for them all the narration helpfully says that Dredd himself went to just Chambers…

Tell me…does this sound like the hard bastard we all know and love? Nope Ennis bullshit right here folks.

Meanwhile cover star Devlin Waugh continues in the story which never ends. Devilins group are still taking Lilith to the Helsing institute. The group are still being chased by vampires. They still want to bleed daywalker Lilith in order to steal her ability to stay alive….

Wash, rinse and repeat…

Ugh…this goes on for a year and you know what the payoff is? Devlin Waugh becomes a daywalker….thats it!

ugh

1338: Sudden Impact

Snow tiger takes the cover with a truly groan inducing pun on the front.

Snow is a cautious british intelligence agency. Tiger is an ex us navy seal who belive in dashing in head first…they fight crime!

They fight to find an ebola virus which has been stolen by neo Nazis…and I don’t really care. Yeah these modern things which became Diggles bread and butter is not really my thing and for this to be his send off of 2000ad is a bit of a shame.

Flashforward to now where Diggle has made a return to 2000ad and the magazine. He wrote a special rogue trooper for the 35 anniversary prog. He is currently writing snapshot with his constant collaborator Jock for the magazine and we are promised more lenny zero finally after a long absence.

Also of note this prog is a hilarious Dredd one off which features the premier of an opera based on the life of Judge Cal. The judges are not happy, Dredd is pissed off and a group called the eurotrash extermination corps are targeting the opera as well.

The terrorist group manage to get the corpulent opera singing star to eat a bomb and the show is brought to its final curtain call as it explodes at the end of the show

A Gordon Rennie classic!

Next: This is the Waugh that never ends…it just goes on and on my friends…

1335: All Rise for the Judge!

Theres nothing quite like a…holy crap Orloks on trial!!!

Yes at last the bastard is going on trial and not before time too. The guy has caused a lot of damage to the big Meg and the world of dredd at large and apart from a few Anderson stories I would rather not talk about he has been pretty much portrayed as a complete prick!

Now it’s his time to face the stand for what he done during the recent sin city arc

And look at that cover…they got Bolland to do a cover for the trial. Its lovely ain’t it?

There was other stories in this prog of course but they will be covered in due time. In fact the very next entry has one of those stories…

1335: Last man standing

Note: This episode shipped with an alternate cover. The cover at the top is the one I ended up with but for fairness I included the varient at the bottom. So enjoy both. And you may have noticed but since I have returned from my absense I have been using covers from the Barney database. To see them full on and gets loads of tooth info check this link!

 http://www.2000ad.org/

Three stories, three endings. We’ll skip Atavar due to me not knowing what the fuck is going on and instead focus on the ending of Dredd: Incubus and The V.Cs. V.Cs ends with a cliffhanger as the team is caught in a blast with their fate unknown. I really enjoyed the twisty turn nature of this book in the series. For the first few episodes it was revealed that Smith survived the crash and the team died apart from friendly geek Keege. Meanwhile it was revealed that the team survived and smith was missing. It of course turned out that Smith was captured by the enemy and tortured to find out secrets. Dredd finally ends the crossover and surprisingly Judge Female Fodder survives. The alien menace is defeated by sending wave after wave of decommissioned Mechanismo judges (think robot judge) while Dredds children (yeah…) are birthed then incinerated by the judge who then quips. The end. Thank god for that. Next issue is a relaunch prog and features the long awaited trial of one of Judge dredds more nastier foes.

1333: Respect the badge, obey the law, read the comic creep!

Judge dredd pulls the rug out from under us as the true mastermind of the never ending Aliens crossover is revealed to be Mr Bones from Out of the Under city which appeared in prog 1313!

His entire scheme is bluh, bluh I am ugly all the nice looking people must die. Sic them my alien blooded pets! He uses pheromones to keep them off his ugly ass and he has Dredd and Female Fodder Judge all ready to be implanted with Aliens.

Of course things go bad for bones as Dredd smashes the pheromone and its chomping time on the asshole!

More on this story and my final thoughts in a few entries time!

Oh and in Bec and Kawl the villain is revealed to be a thinly veiled Bill Gates Expy and our heroes channel the power of Steve Jobs…

God I hate Bec and Kawl so much…

Meg 204: Be very afriad

Garth Ennis is back!

Way back when I first began writing these entries I spoke of Helter skelter. Or as I referred to it, Garths 2000ad Masturbation fantasy. Well he’s back again although I do wonder what they bribed him with this time?

Anyway we are in the past or more specifically round about the beginnings of Dredds time in 2000ad. Chief Judge Goodman is still alive and so is that evil psychotic shitbag Cal.

The story goes that Goodman is taken over by this bizarre creature that latches onto his back and makes him do terrible things including taking down Dredd. Continuity? ENNIS laughs at your feeble ideas of continuity.

Also bringing to mind the early days of this blog Juliet November has been having her own solo series and while it started off as “Oh I have this date, oh I hope my fire powers don’t cause hijinxs!” it got dark very quick and very fast. Their dinner date is hijacked by a family who proceeds to beat her date to death thinking he is a judge spy.

Horrified that her date did this to protect her she goes apeshit and burns first the family and then the entire audience after they turn on her believing her to be a mutant. Dredd has to arrest her and the story ends with her locked in a special psi cube and one of her hands burnt.

Bit of a downer to end this entry really…

Next

Fear the atavar!!!

Megazine 203: til death do us part

So mr gibson…who are you supposed to be parodying in this episode of judge dredd? Cilla black maybe a good few years after people knew of her? Or Davina McCall? Either way this is the marriage game and this is the return of walter the wobot and mrs gunderson.

Kinda appropriate this is my valentines entry. So this is a mega city dating game in which a lucky prospective bachelor gets a chance to win a marriage to a lucky woman and our fave eldster and wisping wobot are there to cheer on a man called Troy…who works at mrs gundersons house of horrors as judge death….

Ever since Gunderson opened up her home for the tourists the actor she always gets to play judge death goes mental and kills people….

Which is of course what happens to troy as he claws and bites at his prospective brides, and of course Dredd shows up and does what he does best.

1322: The enemy within

It’s the most pointless crossover ever and that’s saying something! Yes its judge dredd vs. those acid blooded bastards from those films that people other than me seem to like. Yep its judge dredd vs. aliens. Yep Dredd had already faced those dredd (heh) locked bastard in Dredd vs. predator…it was inevitable that shit like this would happen.

Jointly written by John Wagner and Andy diggle and drawn by the wonderful Henry flint. It has Dredd, new judge Sanchez and a whole gaggle of cannon fod…pest control operatives as they face off against a swarm of aliens.

The next phase of Dantes saga begins proper after the prologue set in the past last prog. After his betrayal by his ongoing rival the countess he is adrift at sea. He comes across a ship under attack by the feared pirate the kraken and pretty much does what he does best.

I love Nikolai Dante but even I felt this saga…dragged a bit during its original publication but it works in trades…it really does.

Next time pat mills unleashes the black siddah on us all!

Meg slog 2o1: Return of the writer!

Back by popular demand the text entries and let us start with the completely new beginning of the megazine. A new renumbering, a new page size and a whole page size and that are just the beginning of the changes. The reprint has been branded together as 2000ad gold and through the coming months, we would get classics such as fiends of the eastern front, Harry 20 on the high rock and err slaine time killer…

What makes this period in the reprinting of strips more interesting is the reprinting of battle classics. Darkies Mob is reprinted and so is the classic Charlies war but more on those in a future entry.

As for the new strips inside this issue, we have two dredd stories. Phartz, which is one huge poot, joke gone horribly awry by John Wagner and Carlos Ezquerra. And an apocalypse war anniversary tale by Gordon Rennie, which ends up being better than the John Wagner strip…seriously.

There is Family a strip, which is written by the Nikolai Dante team. But more on that in a future entry and finally there is a one off story called the Kleggs which is a comedy strip featuring the alien race once hired by crazy judge cal during the day the law died storyline. It is….not my cup of synthe tea I am afraid. It is not a daily hate crime but I still am not a fan of it.

Devlin Waugh begins a new story with a text feature, which explains the long torturous life, the strip has had. More on this story in a future entry although I would be remiss not to mention that the supposedly reprint free 201 has an old Waugh text strip inside its pages…perhaps the no reprint rule didn’t count for text stories? Moreover, speaking of text we get a double shot of thrill power overload this time round including a special episode, which never became part of the eventual book. It focuses on original IPC publisher John Sanders and is well worth a read.

Well that is the first written slog in a long time. Do not get used to the length they all won’t be this long…see you next time as some alien bastards hit the big meg…

1304: Man of Law

http://youtu.be/GBUnSsNqQI0

prog 1300: Theres nothing quite like a relaunch prog!

http://youtu.be/mhyONgF3ExQ

1299: Deathmatch

http://youtu.be/i40iJuJTqmE

4:13 American beauty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl87LocY-kk

1293: Dredd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eU_Mtsnlru0